Grown up kid of helicopter parents here, and yeah—it does a number on you. I’m glad to hear that there’s a general movement away from that. Happy Mother’s Day :)
Yeah it does lol (ask me how I know). It's hard as a parent not to helicopter in this day and age but I know it's isn't good for my kids mental health or mine 😅
They really do blame mothers for everything. That's so spot on it's ridiculous. When I was a kid, a friend of mine was murdered. Years later, I saw some online commentary about it. "Where was her mother?" popped up more than once. (For the record, her mother was inside while my friend was waiting out front for her dad to come home, not that it matters, as you said.) Parenting is a wild, wild thing, and the world seems to have only gotten wilder and is falling apart at the seams. Or maybe we just know about it more now, I don't know. The point early on about not only writing about war during war, but also beauty is a fantastic reminder. Something I need to do more of myself.
Thank you for reading and sharing. I’m so sorry about your friend, and for her mother. That’s incredibly awful. And infuriating. When I saw that comment on the article I was reading (the ‘where was her mother?’ comment) I swear I had to stand up bc I felt this intense physical rage and sadness. I think of those moments as a kind of ‘plugging into the collective anger of all the mothers, both alive and long dead'. I’m never sure what to do with that feeling, but maybe writing this was a start lol
I can imagine. It's such a visceral feeling. Love the framing of plugging into the collective anger. I don't know about you, but I have to take a lot of breaks from the news. It drives me nuts. When I wrote something about my friend, my first draft was really angry. Just... vitriol, you know? I ended up deleting it and writing something that focused more on her, but I think going through both was helpful for me. Or at least I like to think so. Even so, it doesn't feel like enough. But I guess that's how that shit goes haha
Traumatised mother here! I'm always caught in the struggle of wanting him to explore and feel safe in thw world, while knowing how cruel that world can be and trying to protect him from it. I don't have any friends who are mothers, really, so your words gave me a lot of comfort knowing others struggle with trying not to helicopter!
What stayed with me is the impossible tension between letting a child live freely and knowing that mothers are still made responsible for almost everything that happens.
“Let them run free this summer” becomes painful here, because freedom is never simple when love has to keep measuring danger, blame, and trust all at once.
Grown up kid of helicopter parents here, and yeah—it does a number on you. I’m glad to hear that there’s a general movement away from that. Happy Mother’s Day :)
Thank you ❤️
Yeah it does lol (ask me how I know). It's hard as a parent not to helicopter in this day and age but I know it's isn't good for my kids mental health or mine 😅
They really do blame mothers for everything. That's so spot on it's ridiculous. When I was a kid, a friend of mine was murdered. Years later, I saw some online commentary about it. "Where was her mother?" popped up more than once. (For the record, her mother was inside while my friend was waiting out front for her dad to come home, not that it matters, as you said.) Parenting is a wild, wild thing, and the world seems to have only gotten wilder and is falling apart at the seams. Or maybe we just know about it more now, I don't know. The point early on about not only writing about war during war, but also beauty is a fantastic reminder. Something I need to do more of myself.
Thank you for reading and sharing. I’m so sorry about your friend, and for her mother. That’s incredibly awful. And infuriating. When I saw that comment on the article I was reading (the ‘where was her mother?’ comment) I swear I had to stand up bc I felt this intense physical rage and sadness. I think of those moments as a kind of ‘plugging into the collective anger of all the mothers, both alive and long dead'. I’m never sure what to do with that feeling, but maybe writing this was a start lol
I can imagine. It's such a visceral feeling. Love the framing of plugging into the collective anger. I don't know about you, but I have to take a lot of breaks from the news. It drives me nuts. When I wrote something about my friend, my first draft was really angry. Just... vitriol, you know? I ended up deleting it and writing something that focused more on her, but I think going through both was helpful for me. Or at least I like to think so. Even so, it doesn't feel like enough. But I guess that's how that shit goes haha
Traumatised mother here! I'm always caught in the struggle of wanting him to explore and feel safe in thw world, while knowing how cruel that world can be and trying to protect him from it. I don't have any friends who are mothers, really, so your words gave me a lot of comfort knowing others struggle with trying not to helicopter!
That makes me so happy to hear 😊 it really is such a struggle sometimes
What stayed with me is the impossible tension between letting a child live freely and knowing that mothers are still made responsible for almost everything that happens.
“Let them run free this summer” becomes painful here, because freedom is never simple when love has to keep measuring danger, blame, and trust all at once.